"You deserve the kind of love you would give someone else"

This quote ... I like it but i really don't like it. Strong mixed feelings yet again. 

What the problem here is that it's often never mutual. Often the love sent isn't returned equally or even near that and I've seen it one too many times tbh. I guess I don't like it then. 

It is so common for people to not put in the same effort someone else has put in for them and yet I still hear this line. "Treat others the way you want to be treated." 

It is possible however that the people who say this or follow it aren't receiving the return they expected. Perhaps they might not be acknowledging it enough to satisfy ?? Man I just wish I could say it straight on and start a debate, but I guess I'm the passive type. And that the person would prolly get lost in the complex though process. Idk tbh but srs. 

I admit I've followed this idea/concept for a very long time - possibly due to my religious and philosophical bias to wards Buddhism. But the slight variation is that it's called compassion rather than equal return. But that's another story for another post. 

I used to make presents for people where it required an enormous amount of effort (well to me it did). Making shit and presenting it and researching to achieve perfection. Hand it to them. And yeh they appreciated it but what I had in mind was a sort of challenge in that they would contest this present and do something that was ... I guess equal in effort; though I did keep my mind broad and open so that ill be able to accept what ever comes. But most often it's just something that was something bought that related to the idea/topic at hand. No I'm not saying I'm not impressed or grateful of gifts ! I really do appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Whatever the gift may be, I'll be touched and take care of it tediously but I honestly still long for something funny, weird, different, something where I can examine its uniqueness or craftsmanship. That will make my heart melt if anyone were to do that. Srs. 

But back on topic, I think maybe I should just man up and talk to them..even though I've tried many times online I still find it difficult both because we don't relate as much and possibly little contact irl.. Which I'm trying really hard to change but its a really guessing game, and I don't like guessing and leaving to chance when it comes to this stuff. 

I've put in a lot of effort for countless things and with time I guess I've just learned to accept the usual 'no return' or 'unsatisfying' repayments. Though it does it tougher each time... But nvm. I would give examples and various long time and recent occurrences of this but it'll just bore you. 

Strong ramble/10 

Signing out~