Idk

Schools been alright lately but then there's me ..

I feel like I don't talk to people enough anymore. Feels a bit weird saying this cause I always saw myself as a non-shy, try-to-keep-the-conversation-going person. I was once shy but then I saw no benefit being that way and communication and getting along with people is much easier that way. Hasn't been evident recently and it sorta makes me feel hollow, vacant sorta idk. It's a weird feeling reflecting back on yourself when the person you've tried hardest to not be... Is like actually you/yourself. 

Maybe people just don't like my interests ? Srsly the majority of people I've engaged in conversations lately have all been about school and exams and work and shit that I srsly makes one feel down. Why not talk about your weekend ? Or something you wanna do or make or see ? Something you saw on tumblr ? An experience you had during the week ? An epiphany you've recently had ? There's plenty to talk about and I honestly will listen and respond back the best I can. Though sometimes I just don't listen hard enough or the bg noise makes the talk impossible to understand (which is actually the usual case). 

If you've got nothing you talk about... Then it just means you need to do more in your life. Actually even action isn't required to develop this kind of understanding and knowledge to fuel an conversation. Maybe like have a think about something. Evaluate something you've recently done or saw. Thinking is basically your imagination, your brain going on adventures and linking pieces of 'brain matter' together. I used to be that kind of person. Always thinking about questions and sorta being a smart-ass about societies ways and accepted methods of doing things/living your life. I was basically trying to decide what I see and observe. Idk if I still do that anymore because I think I might've realised people get annoyed and frustrated with a person like that. I guess I might've gave that up as well. 

I've become something that I don't like seeing myself as, yet I have no idea what so ever how to change myself; or even, what to change into... 

Fk me